Why by Belle95, literature
Literature
Why
Why
Why is it so hard
To ask for help
When the walls are crumbling
Around you
And you can't stop
Crying
Or at least
Feeling like you mighty cry
Why is it so scary
To admit you're not okay
And that you need someone
To ask what's wrong
Because you can't just tell them
Or else you'd be a burden
Why is it so difficult
To write on the bad days
When words used to just flow
Out of your finger tips
Why is it easier
To want to die
Than to want to get better
Or to want to be hospitalized
Than want to live a normal life
Why am I so crazy
26 July 2015
Unconditional by Belle95, literature
Literature
Unconditional
Unconditional
She sits on her bed
Head hanging low
It had been another long day
Of her little girl's tears
And screams and blood
She remembered when
Her little baby girl
Was carefree, innocent, and joyous
How had the world warped her into
Beautiful, perfect, daughter
Into a love girl with a broken heart
And how can she possibly show her baby
That the world isn't as bad as it seems
She let a few tears fall down her face
As she thought about her babies arms
They used to be unblemished
But now hundreds of scars marred the skin
And they had all been self inflicted
How could she have been so terrible
That she didn't notice her daughter's pain
Full Circle by Belle95, literature
Literature
Full Circle
Full Circle
A little girl grabs her moms skirt
Can we do it?
Can we go do it now?
She whines and whines
Until her mother laughs
And allows the child
To drag her outside
They kneel down
On the damp dirt
And the girl digs a little hole
She gently lays the seed on the ground
Before covering it and scampering backwards
Now remember
Whispered her mom
There are no promises in this world
But this should hopefully turn into a tree
And what we planted today
Will be around for years to come
They left the yard and went inside
And within a year moved away
Over the decades the lone seed
Grew and grew and grew
Until it was a lovely tree
That childre
Inaccuracies by Belle95, literature
Literature
Inaccuracies
Inaccuracies
"Sleep is for the weak"
Some claim, pulling all nighters
Or partying until dawn
Well I would have to say
That is an absolute lie
For the closing of eyes
Brings gruesome images
Of past wrongs
Every memory of every trauma
Can take control of your mind
When you give up consciousness
You may wake up sweating
Or panting for breathe
Maybe with a sudden jolt
Sleep, in reality, is not for the feint of heart
"I'll sleep when I'm dead"
Some call as they head out the door
But have they ever felt
The desire - no need - to be dead now
If given the option, you may never leave your bed
For the world is a scary place
And some of us just want t
Last Ditch Effort by Belle95, literature
Literature
Last Ditch Effort
Last Ditch Effort
This will be the last poem
That I write you
In my effort to elicit
A simple reply
I am not giving up
I am simply giving you time
For pestering you is failing
To change your stubborn mind
I still love you
I always have
And always will
So don't think I'm gone
I'm merely stopping my late night scribbles
Of pain and loss and hope
That always end in
My heart being crushed again
I am merely vowing
Not to exhaust my creativity
In trying to get you
To believe me when I say
You are not a bad influence
You are anything but
It is because of you
That I am here today
You listened to me whine
For years and you also allowed
Me to h
Timeline by Belle95, literature
Literature
Timeline
Timeline
When I first met my psychiatrist
And when I re-entered therapy
I spoke of my break with reality
Of how I could not tell
If I was sitting or floating
Of how I could not tell
If my hand would go through an object
Or if the object was tangible
Of how sometimes
I held conversations with people
Only the people were not actually present
And only I knew it had happened
Of how other times
People would hold conversations with me
But I wouldn't feel like I was there
I felt like I was some place else
And I mentioned the noises
I have heard since I was a little girl
But I felt no one believed me
My mom especially did not believe me
And I did no
Slightly Psychotic by Belle95, literature
Literature
Slightly Psychotic
Slightly Psychotic
Look left
Look right
But nothing is there
Whenever you turn your head
But no,
That's not right
For there are shadows
At the edges of your vision
Why are they never
In full view
Where do they go
When your head turns
Walk a little faster
Because you know
They are there
And you are afraid
Speed up
Because you hear those voices
The screams
And the laughter
No one around
Is screaming
But the sound echoes
In your head
No one is laughing
No one is calling you
It is all
In your head
No for its real
It must be those shadows
They are calling
Out to you
But the shadows
Are not real, my dear
I know you see them
But they're n
It Is Hard by Belle95, literature
Literature
It Is Hard
It Is Hard
I want to write
A hopeful piece
For I feel lately
My poetry
Has spawned from the dark thoughts
That take over my mind
When the sun goes down
And I feel like I am alone
With my thoughts
So it is daylight now
But still as I sit
Tablet on my lap
With my fingers click, click, clicking
On the keyboard
I seem to be spouting
Depressing things
But I want to be hopeful
So I think of someone
Other than myself
And the words
They come
They flow
Because I've always cared about others
More than I've ever even
Tolerated myself
If I wrote for any of you
Instead of for myself
Than my poem could be hopeful
But as I sit here
Trying to write sin
Dear Anyone, by Belle95, literature
Literature
Dear Anyone,
Dear Anyone,
Breathe, darling
In and out
Slow breaths
Hold for five
And smile, darling
For I am here
And I will never
Abandon you
If you are having a rough day
Do not give up, my love
For its easier to give up
During the days that go horribly
During the days
Where it is all you can do
To climb out of the bed
And where all you want
Is to cry or to die
But if you can get through that kind of day
You prove to yourself you are strong
And you are strong, sweetheart
You are stronger than you know
Stronger than you image
Stronger than you could ever believe
You have made it this far
And that in and of itself
Is a major accomplishment
For you coul
For You by Belle95, literature
Literature
For You
For You
It's funny
How you bail on me now
For we have been friends for years
And both of us have had our troubles
And I almost died
Thrice
And tried a thousand times
And you had your own
Suicide scares
Yet through all of that
We remained friends
Even when we stopped
Talking to all others
Who were, like us
Blind
Because the blind can't lead the blind
We stayed together
We were practically twins
Even though we lived states apart
And nearly a year separated us in age
But I swear we have the
Twin telepathy
So often commented upon
We could make each other laugh
Or smile or cry or simply be
We were inseparable
We knew we could not save
The othe
See All
Why by Belle95, literature
Literature
Why
Why
Why is it so hard
To ask for help
When the walls are crumbling
Around you
And you can't stop
Crying
Or at least
Feeling like you mighty cry
Why is it so scary
To admit you're not okay
And that you need someone
To ask what's wrong
Because you can't just tell them
Or else you'd be a burden
Why is it so difficult
To write on the bad days
When words used to just flow
Out of your finger tips
Why is it easier
To want to die
Than to want to get better
Or to want to be hospitalized
Than want to live a normal life
Why am I so crazy
26 July 2015
Unconditional by Belle95, literature
Literature
Unconditional
Unconditional
She sits on her bed
Head hanging low
It had been another long day
Of her little girl's tears
And screams and blood
She remembered when
Her little baby girl
Was carefree, innocent, and joyous
How had the world warped her into
Beautiful, perfect, daughter
Into a love girl with a broken heart
And how can she possibly show her baby
That the world isn't as bad as it seems
She let a few tears fall down her face
As she thought about her babies arms
They used to be unblemished
But now hundreds of scars marred the skin
And they had all been self inflicted
How could she have been so terrible
That she didn't notice her daughter's pain
Full Circle by Belle95, literature
Literature
Full Circle
Full Circle
A little girl grabs her moms skirt
Can we do it?
Can we go do it now?
She whines and whines
Until her mother laughs
And allows the child
To drag her outside
They kneel down
On the damp dirt
And the girl digs a little hole
She gently lays the seed on the ground
Before covering it and scampering backwards
Now remember
Whispered her mom
There are no promises in this world
But this should hopefully turn into a tree
And what we planted today
Will be around for years to come
They left the yard and went inside
And within a year moved away
Over the decades the lone seed
Grew and grew and grew
Until it was a lovely tree
That childre
Inaccuracies by Belle95, literature
Literature
Inaccuracies
Inaccuracies
"Sleep is for the weak"
Some claim, pulling all nighters
Or partying until dawn
Well I would have to say
That is an absolute lie
For the closing of eyes
Brings gruesome images
Of past wrongs
Every memory of every trauma
Can take control of your mind
When you give up consciousness
You may wake up sweating
Or panting for breathe
Maybe with a sudden jolt
Sleep, in reality, is not for the feint of heart
"I'll sleep when I'm dead"
Some call as they head out the door
But have they ever felt
The desire - no need - to be dead now
If given the option, you may never leave your bed
For the world is a scary place
And some of us just want t
Last Ditch Effort by Belle95, literature
Literature
Last Ditch Effort
Last Ditch Effort
This will be the last poem
That I write you
In my effort to elicit
A simple reply
I am not giving up
I am simply giving you time
For pestering you is failing
To change your stubborn mind
I still love you
I always have
And always will
So don't think I'm gone
I'm merely stopping my late night scribbles
Of pain and loss and hope
That always end in
My heart being crushed again
I am merely vowing
Not to exhaust my creativity
In trying to get you
To believe me when I say
You are not a bad influence
You are anything but
It is because of you
That I am here today
You listened to me whine
For years and you also allowed
Me to h
Timeline by Belle95, literature
Literature
Timeline
Timeline
When I first met my psychiatrist
And when I re-entered therapy
I spoke of my break with reality
Of how I could not tell
If I was sitting or floating
Of how I could not tell
If my hand would go through an object
Or if the object was tangible
Of how sometimes
I held conversations with people
Only the people were not actually present
And only I knew it had happened
Of how other times
People would hold conversations with me
But I wouldn't feel like I was there
I felt like I was some place else
And I mentioned the noises
I have heard since I was a little girl
But I felt no one believed me
My mom especially did not believe me
And I did no
Slightly Psychotic by Belle95, literature
Literature
Slightly Psychotic
Slightly Psychotic
Look left
Look right
But nothing is there
Whenever you turn your head
But no,
That's not right
For there are shadows
At the edges of your vision
Why are they never
In full view
Where do they go
When your head turns
Walk a little faster
Because you know
They are there
And you are afraid
Speed up
Because you hear those voices
The screams
And the laughter
No one around
Is screaming
But the sound echoes
In your head
No one is laughing
No one is calling you
It is all
In your head
No for its real
It must be those shadows
They are calling
Out to you
But the shadows
Are not real, my dear
I know you see them
But they're n
It Is Hard by Belle95, literature
Literature
It Is Hard
It Is Hard
I want to write
A hopeful piece
For I feel lately
My poetry
Has spawned from the dark thoughts
That take over my mind
When the sun goes down
And I feel like I am alone
With my thoughts
So it is daylight now
But still as I sit
Tablet on my lap
With my fingers click, click, clicking
On the keyboard
I seem to be spouting
Depressing things
But I want to be hopeful
So I think of someone
Other than myself
And the words
They come
They flow
Because I've always cared about others
More than I've ever even
Tolerated myself
If I wrote for any of you
Instead of for myself
Than my poem could be hopeful
But as I sit here
Trying to write sin
Dear Anyone, by Belle95, literature
Literature
Dear Anyone,
Dear Anyone,
Breathe, darling
In and out
Slow breaths
Hold for five
And smile, darling
For I am here
And I will never
Abandon you
If you are having a rough day
Do not give up, my love
For its easier to give up
During the days that go horribly
During the days
Where it is all you can do
To climb out of the bed
And where all you want
Is to cry or to die
But if you can get through that kind of day
You prove to yourself you are strong
And you are strong, sweetheart
You are stronger than you know
Stronger than you image
Stronger than you could ever believe
You have made it this far
And that in and of itself
Is a major accomplishment
For you coul
For You by Belle95, literature
Literature
For You
For You
It's funny
How you bail on me now
For we have been friends for years
And both of us have had our troubles
And I almost died
Thrice
And tried a thousand times
And you had your own
Suicide scares
Yet through all of that
We remained friends
Even when we stopped
Talking to all others
Who were, like us
Blind
Because the blind can't lead the blind
We stayed together
We were practically twins
Even though we lived states apart
And nearly a year separated us in age
But I swear we have the
Twin telepathy
So often commented upon
We could make each other laugh
Or smile or cry or simply be
We were inseparable
We knew we could not save
The othe
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Broken hearts and Bloody wrists by Yamaoni, literature
Literature
Broken hearts and Bloody wrists
Ribbons in her hair and scars beneath her sleeves
Her soul is slowly dying as tormentors turn to thieves
The mask on her face doesn't cover her eyes
So she can't cover her sorrow with her lies
She's so beautiful
It's breathtaking
She's so sorrowful
It's heartbreaking
Trace your veins with this blade,
Still the fiery flames of hate
Your pleasures pain, a steel caress,
You hide your hurt, shield your distress
She's so beautiful
It's breathtaking
She's so sorrowful
It's heartbreaking
When comes the time for pain to end?
Until that day your heart descends
Your soul gives up, your life decays
You'll find no cause to change y
Depression is an Option by MikkiMarie, literature
Literature
Depression is an Option
Depression is a choice, my dear,
And happiness the same
You choose this illness, don’t you?
What a tragic little game.
Depression is an option, love
Just get up out of bed
Take your tears and worries
And just smile now instead.
Depression is a choice, you see,
And so is suicide.
Just sit back, kick your feet up, dear
Enjoy this perfect ride.
Get over your own standards
Of what everyone should be.
Just smile for once, and maybe
You’ll be living perfectly.
...
But...
Depression is an illness
That we feel so deep within.
Why would anybody choose
To write poetry on their skin?
Unless there lies a reason, dear,
I would not choo
you're much stronger than you think by Tangled-Tales, literature
Literature
you're much stronger than you think
I'll be the first to tell you
scissors don't need to be brought to a wrist
to cut deep
because cutting off your heart from you head,
or yourself from your dreams,
is also enough
to make you bleed
and there's ink spilled all over these pages,
and at times it seems tears
are cheaper than water from a spout:
these lines need diluted,
these blots are a dark, dark sea
and maybe I'm not too good at swimming,
even if it's just through a pool of ink
but I've learned if you just keep paddling,
you're much stronger than you think.
Too Far by DarkPhoenixIncarnate, literature
Literature
Too Far
You’re okay.
You’re okay and you went too far but
You’re okay and you
Let yourself go let yourself imagine
Let yourself hope and you went too far but
You’re okay you’re okay
Just breathe, breathe and rewind, rethink but don’t relapse
You’re okay, you’re okay and your,
Fingers are trembling and chest clenching as ringing words echo in your mind as
You turn on all the lights and sit in the brightness
As your heavy throat and warm skin turns to ice
As the shivers and the joy and the pleasure go and fade and
You’re okay you’re okay this is
Always how it was supposed to end a
Hello Everybody, I Still Exist! by MikkiMarie, journal
Hello Everybody, I Still Exist!
Salutations, dearest watchers. ~halloplz (https://www.deviantart.com/halloplz)
I still check my dA account. I still check up on you guys. I'm still here for every single one of you, every single moment of every single day. I still love you guys <3
I realize I haven't been super active. I apologize! So I, trying to get back in the swing of things, am... going to ask you all to ask at least one question in the comments! One question. I will put up a journal within 24 hours of right now answering each and every one.
COMMENT NOW! =D
As for the rest of this journal.... allow me to enlighten you all with this fun story of my childhood.
So it was a delightfully sunny day
Between life and death by lulu-illussions, literature
Literature
Between life and death
again and again on my knees
broken by those who should help me stand
not sad nor happy in this life
forgotten
fallen
and getting up
again
again and again
every time
after every fall
more determined to keep standing
more desperate to avoid another
fall
depression doesn´t hurt
it´s beyond limits of sadness
beyond any other feeling known by mam
why?
being alive is too hard
there are easier ways around
why to stand up after fall?
standing
stubbornly holding on worthless things
patiently crying when no one hears
broken pieces glued together
by what?
life
effort testing limits of strength
buying time to find mor
Belle95 is not a Group Admin yet
Groups they admin or create will appear here
Artist // Hobbyist // Literature
- United States
- Deviant for 15 years
- She / Her
Badges
My Bio
Hi, my name is Gabrielle, but a lot of my friends call me Belle.
I am a nineteen year old American girl, in my freshman year of university.
I am a nerd, and a robotics geek.
I plan to be an electrical engineer.
Lately, I've been wondering if that is the right path.
Regardless of what I choose, I will always dabble in poetry.
I have been writing poetry since I was a child.
As I aged, poems became the only thing that made me feel safe.
Many of my poems may be dark, for bipolar, anxiety, and borderline tend to twist a person.
But, I also try to write of hope and happiness since I know the world is actually a beautiful place.
Thank you for reading my bio and my poems. I apologize for the infrequency of my updates. I'm going to try to update more regularly, but no promises.
I am a nineteen year old American girl, in my freshman year of university.
I am a nerd, and a robotics geek.
I plan to be an electrical engineer.
Lately, I've been wondering if that is the right path.
Regardless of what I choose, I will always dabble in poetry.
I have been writing poetry since I was a child.
As I aged, poems became the only thing that made me feel safe.
Many of my poems may be dark, for bipolar, anxiety, and borderline tend to twist a person.
But, I also try to write of hope and happiness since I know the world is actually a beautiful place.
Thank you for reading my bio and my poems. I apologize for the infrequency of my updates. I'm going to try to update more regularly, but no promises.
Profile Comments 73
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Thanks for the fave! 
Thank you for the poetry fave!!!
Thank you so much 
Thank you
Thank you for the favorite
Thank you so much for the fav! 